There it was. The infamous fork in the road.
I’ll never cease to be amazed at how life intervenes when we’ve stopped listening to our truth and lovingly presents with a crossroad. Mine was a long time coming.
Despite all of the warning signs along the way, I had been going in a direction that didn’t feel right. But I carried on regardless because it was scarier to acknowledge how much was going wrong.
“Keep the blinders up Hilary, and everything will be ok” I subconsciously told myself.
But, everything was far from ok.
Instead of checking off the ‘must have’s in your 20’s’ list (career, relationship, home, baby), I seemed to be achieving the opposite:
- I was deeply in debt.
- I couldn’t find a job in my field (not to mention I wasn’t sure if it was the right fit to begin with).
- I had to move back in with my parents.
- I needed to continue waitressing to support myself.
- And to add the icing on my satirical cake, my relationship had come to a screeching end.
Needless to say, this was not the happily ever after I had imagined.
The breakup was my breaking point. I was forced to make a choice: continue down the path I was on or take a sharp turn down a new road?
For me, the decision made itself. To continue in the direction I was in felt infinitely more painful than stepping into the unknown. Yes, I may have spent over half a decade getting a degree for something I would never make permanent. Yes, I was shoulder deep in student loans. Yes, I was starting anew at a time when everyone else was settling down.
But. I. Didn’t. Care.
I had no idea what it was that I wanted, I just knew it was more than the life I was living at the time. I knew there was so much within me that I wanted to share, express, and experience. I had followed the rules and found myself at rock bottom, so taking time to follow my heart to discover my dreams didn’t seem so crazy.
So I embarked on my personal odyssey down the road less travelled and I have never looked back.
Here’s the truth about following your heart:
The good:
My journey has taken me to the other end of the world and back. I have climbed mountains, walked across hot coals, surfed alongside sea turtles and fallen head over heals in love (this time with someone who truly loves me back). We have gone road tripping from Canada to Mexico and Central America…twice.
During that time I gave myself the gift of time and space to really get back to myself and reconnect to who I truly was and what I wanted to do in this life. I learned to let go of the expectation that my life had to look a certain way by a certain time and in doing so, discovered what I was passionate about and set out to create a meaningful life shaped by my dreams and desires.
The bad:
With highs come lows.
The road less travelled isn’t always easy.
Sometimes it feels like you’re walking uphill for days. Other times you don’t know where the hell you’re going. Occasionally you trip over a rogue root, go stumbling down an unforeseeable hill and despite having minor bruising, you have to get up and keep on moving anyways. Perhaps most unnerving of all is the fact that you really don’t know where the road will lead; you must trade in certainty for faith in the hopes that everything will work out…and that shit’s scary.
However, despite the fact there were days where I cried and forgot why I was doing all of this; despite the mornings where I could have easily just gone back to bed, thrown the covers over my face and hid from the tasks at hand; despite not knowing if the project I’d just spent 6 months of my life creating would be successful or not, there is ONE thing that I know FOR SURE….
I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
The truth:
You see the road less travelled never promised to be an easy one.
The truth is that it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
There are days that require more courage than others, where you must step outside of your comfort zone and do what scares you. There are days where you must believe despite not knowing if things will work out because you are often times your own cheerleader. There are days where you must continue to have faith in your dream and your vision, even though there may not be any proof to show that it’s all coming together. You have to be willing to learn new things, to fall and get back up again. You still have to work hard. But here’s the thing,
It’s all worth it because each and every day you are doing something that you love, that you believe in, that lights you up and gives you a sense of purpose.
When I met my fork in the road all those years ago I had to make a choice:
A) find resolution in how things were, but never fully satisfied, always wonder what could have been or
B) find resolution in the risks and uncertainties that come with following one’s heart;
In essence, did I want to take the blue pill or the red pill?
I am grateful for everyday that I chose my own unique path because at the end of the day, no matter what happens, I know that I am being the woman I want to be. I am proud of who I am, what I am doing and what I stand for, and that outweighs any of the bad.
I have learned to trust the path because with every step I take down this road, I am honouring myself and my dreams. I may experience uncertainty now, but I know that at the end of my life, I won’t be left with the uncertainty of ‘what if’. Instead I’ll know I left no rock unturned, no dream unattempted; and for me, there could be no greater checklist.
If you find yourself in this place, know that you are at an extraordinary apex in your life where you have the choice to live the life of your dreams, whatever that means for you. In doing so, you have the incredible opportunity to take everything that you are, everything that you love and create a life that lights you up. All you have to do is ask yourself is which road you will take from here.
If you are ready to take the road less travelled and would like a little guidance, book a free clarity session with me in the link below. I would love to see where you’re at and help you with your next steps.
https://www.timetrade.com/book/WP83Q
With lots of love,
Hilary
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